Welp, this post is being brought to you by the Capitol Hill resident who is currently shooting off fireworks* in the park down the block. Uncle Explodeyface down there is preventing me from sleeping, so hey, I’m going to catch up on this after all. High five myself, and a high eff you to Explodeyface!
*Yes, Mother, I’m sure they’re fireworks. That, or they’re storming the beach of Eighth Street.
I get up fairly early without an alarm – years of HOLY CRAP I’M ABOUT TO BE LATE seem to have affected my internal clock, to the point where I usually beat the sun. This morning I got up early as usual, got prettyfied for the day, and rolled out. Early arrival at the Gallery means I get to go up the street to the ‘Bucks for coffee, although the word on the street is that Bakers & Baristas a few blocks up is preferable. I may investigate this tomorrow.
Anyway – I hit the street at about 7:00, making sure to turn on the corner where this guy holds court.
Y’all, this rooster is five feet tall. This is Beyonce’s long lost cousin, and he is the only way I remember to turn on 13th Street and walk to my bus on Pennsylvania. Yes, I know there are street signs and I have a GPS and YES I KNOW it’s only three blocks so I should probably just know it by now, but damn if I don’t look for this glorious thing, just because I can. Don’t you think he looks a little panicked, like maybe he understands my chronic fear of being late? This giant metal rooster GETS ME.
This morning’s lecture was about the Late Renaissance, which was the forty or so years right before the Sack of Rome in 1527. During this time, 3/4 of the Ninja Turtles were doing their thing: Leonardo da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Raphael were painting and competing and sharing glory and basically owning the European art scene like damn Kardashians. But you know, dudes. During the Renaissance, the idea of an artist as a creative genius obsessed with humanity became A Thing, and each of these guys was famous for one big thing:
- Leonardo believed that the human body held all kinds of mysteries, and so he devoted most of his free time to sketching, drawing, and recording his observations about how bodies fit together and worked. Most historians don’t think he did a lot of human dissection, but rather observed other animals and then made some reasonably educated guesses. His sketch of a fetus inside a womb is pretty impressive, considering that at that time he’d only ever seen inside a dissected cow. But you know, given how huge I got with my pregnancies, this is probably reasonable.
- Michelangelo was all guilt and romance. He focused on expressing human emotion through the human body, and spent all his time trying to make his people look like they were feeling something. ALL THE FEELINGS. He worked like a crazy person on this goal, to the point where he went over the head of the POPE and painted like 400% more on the Sistine Chapel ceiling than he had ever been contracted to do. And every one of those little fellas has a different facial expression, body, and sense of motion.
Also important about the Sistine Chapel: there is a panel where you can see God’s butt.
This panel is called “God Creating the Sun, Moon, and Plants.” The moon. THE MOON. The jokes, they write themselves.
Anyway.
3. Raphael, mostly known for being sexy and dying young. JK, not really, although he did die at 37, which makes me feel pretty accomplished, having reached 38 and not died. SUCK IT, RAPHAEL. Rafe was actually more famous for being incredibly skilled in using symbolism; we compared two paintings, one from him and one from his teacher, Pietro Perugino, and it was like a professional and a pre-nap toddler. Seriously, I was so surprised, and I’ve seen these pieces a dozen times. This is my favorite you-gotta-be-kidding-me moment:
Look at the figures on the right (Mary Magdalene in the pink and green, and John the Baptist in the red/blue). Look at that cheating right there! They’re the SAME FIGURE – Perugino was just like, screw it, I want wine and a woman, I’ll just trace this shit and I’m out. Down to their pretty little pointed toes!
After lunch (overpriced cafeteria again – seriously, $19 for a salad and some hummus and pita pieces is RIDICULOUS), we had a practical class with an art teacher from a local district school who’s really into visual journaling. Visual journaling is the scrapbooking of the artsy; we learned a bunch of handsy ways to add texture and color to journal pages, and after much thought and introspection and careful looking into my soul, I made this:
I know. I KNOW. Don’t even. The happy accident page came about when I closed my book too soon and the gold got all over that stupid frog/lake weaving thing. By then I was pulling a Perugrino and I was just all YUP we’re going to go with this, and I’m out.
After that we went to dinner at Carmine’s, which was shockingly affordable for 14 people. AND GET THIS I did the math right and everyone paid in cash and we even made the tip come out right. Here’s a shot of some of us at the “take my photo and make it free advertising– I mean, show my friends what a good time I’m having” machine.
I won at life today, with the exception of the two blisters I finally developed after wearing wedge heels for three days. You’d think I would be smarter, but…
Tomorrow: dialogue in northern European and Italian paintings, and drawing/perspective lessons in the PM, followed by TOP SECRET resources touring. There will be badges.
Oh, Annie... 